The story of Ruth is, as so many other biblical stories, one of romance. Not only the romance between Ruth and the people of Israel and the God of Israel, but also the romance between a true lady and a true gentleman, and Ruth is that lady. The courtship that leads to her wedding with Booz may seem foreign to us, but we can learn from it precisely because it is contradicting all our distorted 21st century views of masculinity and femininity and how relationships between men and women work.
Chapter II: First encounter
In Bethlehem, Ruth is taking care of Noemi, her mother-in-law, who is bereft of both husband and sons who could provide for her. It is “in the beginning of the barley harvest“ (Ruth 1: 22). When Ruth decides to bring in food for Noemi and herself by gleaning the fields, divine providence – a necessary ingredient for every kind of romance in life – leads her to the field of one of the kinsmen of Noemi‘s deceased husband Elimelech: Booz.
To glean the fields at the time of harvest means to gather up all the sheaves of corn that the reapers leave behind and let fall to the ground. The Torah, the law of Moses, commanded the owner of fields to let the poor, often widows, and the strangers in the land gain their living in this way – it commanded to not harvest the field completely for one‘s own profit, but to leave a part of the harvest for the poor to pick up and to not hinder them in this, as an act of charity, justice and mercy. If you consider the intrinsic value that working for one‘s own living has for every human person and how every human person shrivels physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually without the opportunity of “doing something“ and meriting own‘s daily bread, it is a pretty great idea to ensure some measure of social justice and preserved humaneness in this way: giving to the poor what they need, but not robbing them of the dignity of labor. It‘s almost, as if the Giver of the law knew our human nature…
Booz is “a powerful man, and very rich“ (Ruth 2: 1). Many workers serve under him on his fields. And from the very first moment he is introduced into the scene, we learn that he is a true gentleman.
The very first words out of his mouth recorded in the story are a blessing upon his workers in the fields: “The Lord be with you“ (Ruth 2: 4). All his words and deeds thereafter tell us that this is not mere lip service. He does indeed fear the Lord and he is indeed gentle. He keeps the law of Moses by letting the poor glean in his fields. And he immediately recognizes, respects and honors Ruth‘s virtue and seeks to do good onto her. Visiting his fields, he beholds her – and something about her must have caught his attention. Her outer beauty, her inner beauty shining through – or both? His workers tell him, that Ruth has worked tirelessly “from morning till now“ (Ruth 2: 8) and that this is the woman that Noemi brought along from Moab – the woman all of Bethlehem seems to know of by now. Booz, too, has heard of her – and is impressed. He starts a conversation with Ruth in which he lifts her up for her good deeds unto Noemi and tries to make sure that she feels safe and comfortable in his fields, fearing nothing – and that she stays.
“Hear me, daughter, do not go to glean in any other field, and do not depart from this place: but keep with my maids. And follow where they reap. For I have charged my young men, not to molest thee: and if thou art thirsty, go to the vessels, and drink of the waters whereof the servants drink. (…) All hath been told me, that thou hast done to thy mother in law after the death of thy husband: and thou hast left thy parents, and the land wherein thou wast born, and art come to a people which thou knewest not heretofore. The Lord render unto thee for thy work, and mayest thou receive a full reward of the Lord the God of Israel, to whom thou art come, and under whose wings thou art fled. (…) At mealtime come thou hither, and eat of the bread, and dip thy morsel in the vinegar.“
Ruth 2: 8-14
Booz is mindful, considerate, protective of the weak, and generous. He knows how to speak with a woman – sensitive and careful, not loud, harsh and intimidating. He immediately recognizes his responsibility to take care of Ruth and to esteem her for her courageous sacrifice. And he uses his authority and power for protecting her: In any other field, she might meet a questionable man, who could do some violence to her, so he wants her to stay with him. In his field, where he is in charge of things, he makes sure that all his servants understand: do not hinder her the least, but help her, and do not touch, do not in any way “molest“ this woman. All in all, he is an almost Christ-like figure, a well-rounded, complete, highly virtuous man, a man of noble character.
His masculinity is not, as today‘s ultra-feminist bias would have us make believe about masculinity per se, “toxic“. On the contrary, it is redeeming. It is providing a safe space for the lady in the story, shielding her from potential dangers and helping her with gentleness to find her place without her having to fight for it in some kind of disordered, competitive “right of the stronger“ type of situation. Therefore, we women, whether married or unmarried, all need a healthy dose of redeeming masculinity in our lives to thrive. Especially for every unmarried woman this is primarily the masculinity of Christ Himself.
There are, of course, many different sorts of men strutting the earth – noble ones, able to restrain themselves, to keep their male strength in reserve and use it at an appropriate time in an appropriate manner for the right cause, and less noble ones, who need outer restrictions preserving them and others from abusing their male power. We find both of them in this story. Booz is the noble one safeguarding that the less noble ones among his workers do no harm to Ruth. At least they are respecting him as their superior enough that they are still able and willing to let themselves be restrained. They may not be as virtuous as Booz, at least not yet, but they are obviously still able to recognize and respect virtue when they see it and yield to its authority. Which in turn shows us that growing in virtue, refinement of character, can become almost impossible without authority structures in place, without an authority modelling and demanding virtue. Because human beings are always imitating other human beings. They are always mentored and shaped by other human beings. For better or worse.
Chapter III: Coming closer
Ruth is not looking for a husband. Looking for one and finding one would have been the safest and easiest route to solving the problem that she and Noemi face: two widows in an agrarian society, with no man left in their household to work the land. But remember she is a stranger in the land of Juda. She is a woman from Moab and her chances of getting married in Israel are close to zero. Yes, she has turned from the gods of Moab to the God of Israel, in whom she puts her trust. But that is a spiritual reality that does not manifest itself in her physique: It does not change the fact that every man in Bethlehem knows and sees, when he looks at her face, that she is descendant of a different nation.
But even if there was a slight chance of finding a new husband: Ruth is not the kind of woman to desperately roam the streets for him. She is a lady. She is humble, humbly accepting her place as a stranger among the Israelites, and at the same time, she knows her dignity, which in fact always goes together. She does one thing, and one thing only: she is faithful to the tasks entrusted to her. She is the younger of the two women sticking together and she knows that it is her responsibility to take care of her mother-in-law in any way she can. And hard work all day long in the scorching summer heat to gather up a few bundles of wheat and barley is not beneath her. Divine providence brings her to Booz when she simply does what she is called to do at the moment.
But then Jewish mothers… They always want their daughters to get married. They want them to be happy after all and they wish to enjoy the blessing of grandchildren. Noemi is no different. Knowing that Booz is a close kinsman of her deceased husband and a good man, she sees a chance…
The harvest season ends with a feast. After a couple of hours of threshing the corn, all eat, and drink, and slip into the mild bliss of sweet wine. It‘s a special night, not the usual every day routine. That‘s perfect for getting closer… Noemi, as the wise old lady knowing how things work well between men and women, gives young Ruth some advice:
“Wash thyself therefore and anoint thee, and put on thy best garments, and go down to the barnfloor (…).“
Ruth 3: 3
In other words: Make yourself as beautiful as you can. Put on the fragrance of oil and dress up. Every man cherishes a beautiful woman, and deep down inside each and every woman feels best when she feels beautiful.
“(…) but let not the man see thee, till he shall have done eating and drinking. And when he shall go to sleep, mark the place wherein he sleepeth: and thou shalt go in, and lift up the clothes wherewith he is covered towards his feet, and shalt lay thyself down there: and he will tell thee what thou must do.“
Ruth 3: 3-4
Noemi, the matchmaker, knows: It is all about the right timing. And it is all about the lady making herself present and available, about her making him notice her in an appropriate, quiet way, and about communicating to him that it is safe for him to pursue a romantic relationship. Ruth laying herself down to Booz‘ feet is a way of telling him without words: I really like you, which is why I am coming this close to you without coming too close, not disrespecting the boundaries or your freedom and responsibility – and now it is your turn to do something about it, if you wish to. A bad man might then try to have his way with the woman – physically… A good, virtuous, God-fearing man, a gentleman as Booz, takes it as a hint to pursue betrothal and marriage, if he really likes the lady, too.
And that is exactly what happens. Right there and then, in the middle of night, Booz lets Ruth know that it is his intention to take her as his wife.
Chapter IV: Making it happen
Every good romantic story knows of some kind of obstacle for the gentleman in his pursuit of the lady. Something is standing in the way. Some kind of challenge presents itself, which the prince must overcome to win the prize, that is the princess. He has a battle to fight – with the outer world or himself or both one and the other.
In this case, the very law of Moses, to which Booz is so obedient, is standing in the way. According to it, another man, who is a closer kin of Elimelech, has the right and obligation to take Ruth as his wife. There is a principle in the law of Moses that is meant for the protection of widows and for the unbroken continuation of generational lines: If a woman‘s husband dies, the closest kinsman of him there is shall “redeem“ her – shall marry her and raise offspring with her in place of the deceased husband. We can be sure: neither Booz nor Ruth want this other guy to marry her. And so far, this other man has not shown the least interest in fulfilling his obligation. Still: he is the one, not Booz.
Booz is, as we know inside out by now, a good and God-fearing man. Yet in this situation his faithfulness to the law God has given His people is tested. The statutes of the law are not in his favor for getting the woman he has fallen in love with – the most beautiful and virtuous woman he has ever met. But it turns out that even if the rules are against him, he is willing to play by the rules. He does so with a lot of prudence – in his fight for getting the lady, this is his weapon.
He takes the other man aside in the presence of ten witnesses, the exact number of men one needs in any legal case in Israel at that time.
“They sat down, and he spoke to the kinsman: Noemi, who is returned from the country of Moab, will sell a parcel of land that belonged to our brother Elimelech. I would have thee to understand this, and would tell thee before all that sit here, and before the ancients of my people. If thou wilt take possession of it by the right of kindred: buy it and possess it: but if it please thee not, tell me so, that I may know what I have to do. For there is no near kinsman besides thee, who art first, and me, who am second. But he answered: I will buy the field. And Booz said to him: When thou shalt buy the field at the woman‘s hand, thou must take also Ruth the Moabitess, who was the wife of the deceased: to raise up the name of thy kinsman in his inheritance. He answered: I yield up my right of next akin: for I must not cut off the posterity of my own family. Do thou make use of my privilege, which I profess I do willingly forego. Now this in former times was the manner in Israel between kinsmen, that if at any time one yielded his right to another: that the grant might be sure, the man put off his shoe, and gave it to his neighbour; this was a testimony of cession of right in Israel. So Booz said to his kinsman: Put off thy shoe. And immediately he took it off from his foot.“
Ruth 4: 3-8
What is going on here? Booz wants to keep all the commandments of the Torah with all his heart, but he does not want this other man, who in fact does not keep all the commandments with all his heart, but picks and chooses among them depending on how they benefit him or not, get in his way, as he is trying to get the best woman there is, the woman who loves his God with all her heart. The letter of the law is not given to kill its spirit.
He knows his kinsman, his brother. The guy is mainly concerned with wealth, possessions, profit, power. And this state of his heart is brought to light in their conversation, which Booz leads masterfully. Offered a field, the rival says yes, insisting on his right as the closest kinsman. He‘s got money enough and he is willing to use it to enlarge his property. But then Booz lets him know the real price of the field: not only money, but marrying the stranger Ruth and raising children with her. The real price to pay is a real lifelong sacrifice. The real price costs him personally, to the bones. The real price is a real marital relationship with a real woman, who is a woman from Moab. Unlike Booz, this man has no eyes for Ruth‘s beauty which could compel him to be willing to pay this price. He is not able to see the noble lady in her that she is. Why? Because, unlike Booz, he is not a gentleman. A covenant with a woman from Moab? And then passing on all his possessions one day to “her“ offspring? There is a reason why this man did not show up on Noemi‘s and Ruth‘s doorstep yet, willing and ready to keep the law of Moses. He does not feel that an obligation towards a Gentile woman, towards a mere stranger, or for that matter towards any woman, who is not his favorite taste, is binding on him.
And thus, the wise and prudent Booz overcomes the obstacle, masters the challenge, wins the battle. A true gentleman never really has a rival. Just like a true lady stands out among all women. It was so in ancient days and it remains so till this day. If only the gentleman and the lady meet, by divine providence, they will recognize each other and be together happily ever after. Right?
The romance of the book of Ruth is a truly hopeful one, not the least bit of cynical, as is the tendency of our day and age. Despair is not part of the faith that brings Ruth and Booz, the lady and the gentleman, together.